Current mood:

confused

wow... this is me posting A LOT
I'm not so sure what's going on
I feel like I have something to say, but I can't figure out what it is
I have this burning need to tell you something, only, I don't know what it is that I am trying to communicate
I feel lonely and sad
but I don't seek out company, I don't even call anyone
honestly, I've even been avoiding calls
and I'm not wallowing, really I'm not
I feel like I'm just retreating
falling into myself more often than into the world

I'm more irritable than I like. It seems like just about anything sets me off.
I'm desperate for something, but I don't know what


I don't know what I want. I need to figure out what I want. But where do you even begin? Before I always just knew. I could reason out why I wanted something and give you the math on what made one thing more important than another, but that was all retroactive. I knew what I wanted and then analyzed. How do you go about it in the other direction?



How do you discover or decide what you want? Where do I even begin?